Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:35:37 GMT

Today's adventures have included, but are not limited to, locking myself out of my room while in my towel and without my contacts or glasses, so I got to blindly wander around the residence hall, giving the janitor a nice show. Eventually success was reached, but it took a lot of squinting and fiddling with keys.

Glee
Okay. I need Glee to be better. People were, like, wetting themselves over this episode, but I can't understand it. If anything, the show just highlighted what they cheated us out of - Puck and Mercedes singing a duet, Brittany and Santana's song stylings, and Sue Sylvester.

I did, however, like Terri. A lot. Making love-struck teens clean your bathroom? Best idea ever. No lie.

Also. Why do people love Will? And why do people like Finn? The best line of the whole episode was "It's a boy duck." Thank you, Brittany. The square root of four is rainbows.

ALSO: People on TWoP are talking about how they want Kurt's dad and Finn's mom to get together. I SAID THIS EIGHT MILLION WEEKS AGO. Again, I am a trend-setter. Life is hard.

ANTM
All right. I knew the ending. Once Jennifer was out (something I'm still surprised by), it was obvious Nicole was going to win the whole thing. Laura's tears made my heart die a little bit. Good thing there wasn't much of my heart left to die.

Anyway. I've thought a lot about it, and Nicole is Kahlen's portfolio + Naima's personality. And Laura is everything wonderful in the world. Anyway, I don't understand how "not being able to walk" is a "signature walk."

At least I was prepared for the win. I am never prepared for Ann Shoket, though, and I wish she was never a part of the show.

However, next cycle will see Ms. Jay as a runway coach and not a judge. And Kimora Lee Simmons is going to be back. So maybe Janice Dickinson will be back someday. I can dream.

30 Rock
Where was Cheyenne Jackson? Is he friends with Cheyne of The Amazing Race? (Why does the internet think Cheyenne is a word by not Cheyne?)

I need to be reminded why I love this show. It's been a while. I mean, it's still enjoyable, but it doesn't hold the same place in my heart that it used to.

Parks and Recreation
Favorite theme song. It has become a part of my paper-writing playlist because I love it that much. Also, Amy Poehler is one of my favorites. She's coming into her own.

The Office
If onlys and justs were candies and nuts then every day would be (German-word)fest. Maybe Dwight won the episode. Although Andy did pretty well too. "I feel lachrymose."

Also, I have to wait to watch The Prisoner until I get home because my dad wants to watch it with me.

Nothing else to report. I watch too much TV.

I also won a round of trivia and got a rousing round of applause as well as the title of "Linguist" from an Appleton townie. It was a proud moment. And then I got a free drink token.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:59:54 GMT

I think my favorite thing on TV right now is AMC The Prisoner. Maybe because of BSG, I'm just becoming a sucker for remakes, but I'm hopeful that this six-part miniseries can maybe give the show the ending it deserves and did not get in the original.

Also it means I get to see Ian McKellan being villainous, and that's one of my favorite things. Right after this.

I will have more coherent thoughts later. I think I'm going to need to rewatch the premiere.

A Very Special Episode of Arcstar

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 03:27:02 GMT

Part Five of...

Featuring Edward James Olmos quotes and Batman sound effects!

Previously on Arcstar Galarctica, Bill was reticent to let Saul use fleet communications systems to talk about the ark...

Saul, angry that Bill Adama did not support his new ark-building lifestyle, confronted the Admiral about it.

Somewhere on Galactica...

Back in the Admiral's quarters...

Somewhere on Galactica...

Back in the Admiral's quarters...

A fight ensued between the two men...

The two men finally stopped, having reached an impasse (and they were out of good sound effects)

Saul ignored the latest bit of nonsense spewing from the Admiral's mouth. The two men cleaned themselves up and Saul had a revelatory idea!

The ship thus named and the two friends at peace, the Saul gave the Admiral a hug and went on his ark-building way.

Notes: The sound effects are real sound effects used in episodes of Batman. Almost everything out of the Admiral's mouth is an Edward James Olmos quote. I cannot explain why I thought that would be humorous, but I did, so that's what happened. Research went into this Arcstar, y'all.

The Saga of Arcstar Galarctica: Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:21:40 GMT

ANTM
Color me surprised by the final two! I thought it was Jennifer for the win for sure. They've been oddly praising her pictures all season long, so I thought she was a shoe-in for the inexplicable win. As it is, I'm happy with the final two. This is a Naima/Kahlen match-up. Seriously, though, this is basically Cycle Four all over again, which is okay, because that's the best cycle there ever was. (If you ever just want to watch ANTM to see what I'm talking about, Cycle Four is really all you ever need to watch.)

Anyway. Jennifer has had one photo where her mouth was closed. I think that's important to note. I have no idea how she made it this far in the competition with that and no one commented on it. That's another reason I thought she'd make it to the final two. Also she's twenty-three, which would have been harped were it not for the fact that she's so short.

Erin's declaration that she thought of a pop song that the teenagers listen to made me laugh. Because she's a teenager, so wtfever.

Also, this is important ANTM news, and news I'm glad to hear. I think it's just because Ms. Jay ran out of weird things to do at panel.

Top Chef
SO glad Robin is finally gone. She should have been out way before Mike Isabella, and this is coming from someone who hated Mike Isabella. I still say Jen for the win, but I'd be happy with any one, really. Except maybe Eli. Or the cocky brother. That's really all I have to say about that. dashakay covered the important parts.

Glee
Okay. This episode got a lot of love from a lot of people. I am not going to be one of those people.

To be perfectly frank and honest, I liked Sue Sylvester was she was a one-dimensional hardass. I liked that she was crazy and insane, and this fleshing out of her character did nothing but contradict everything she's done to this point. I mean. I guess I could have bought it if we hadn't been party to her diary entry. BUT THAT DIARY ENTRY WAS FULL OF BATSHIT CRAZY. And meanness and didn't at all speak to any depths that would indicate Sue Sylvester would visit her sister in an assisted living facility and read "Little Red Riding Hood" aloud to her. Also, less importantly, Sue Sylvester is so not a little sister.

Anyway. I am in love with cheerleading routines, so I was all about the opening sequence. Also, I was all about the "Bring it on" banner hanging up behind Quinn.

I was all about Artie singing, too. And people in forums and whatnot are saying they don't understand why Mercedes and Kurt and friends are getting pissy about Rachel getting solos when she's only ever gotten "Tonight" - I say to them: "Don't Stop Believin'" "No Air," "Halo," "Somebody to Love," and I feel like the list might go on. I just don't have the time to list it all. I'm ostly okay with Rachel getting leads because she has the voice to back it up, but I really feel like an audition process would be well served in New Directions. So, step it up Schue, and let 'em audition for stuff. I did, however, really like that Tina, Artie and Mercedes all had the big solos in the end song.

Also, I really didn't miss Emma and Ken tonight. I wouldn't have minded some Terri, maybe to weigh in on Quinn's bitchfacing. But it was okay without her.

The best quotes:
"I still have full use of my penis" and "This is off the record. I probably should have said that to begin with." Also: "I find recipes...confusing?"

I still think the only thing I really 'ship on this show is Finn's mom/Kurt's dad. Kurt's dad is fantastic. He was great in this episode and probably the best thing for me. And the Kurt storyline was touching. So, well played Chris Colfer, I've been listening to your rendition of "Defying Gravity" all day.

Today, Amazon accidentally shipped me a CD with a label that read, "Experience the heaviest, most devastating audio attack ever captured in 52 minutes and 25 seconds." Because who doesn't love Sweden's own metal powerhouse, Obzen? Granted, I had to look this band up because I didn't know if their band name was Meshuggah or Obzen. The cover art is not clear, it is just a bald man wearing red gloves. Apparently the CD also features a slipcase and "banned artwork." I'm secretly hoping it's actually "band artwork" and the Swedes didn't translate correctly.

I requested a return so that I could get the book I want to use for my honors thesis. Luckily my good friend Ikram I. was at Amazon Customer service to help me out, with a deeply regretful e-mail and a promise to send the book out pronto.

The Contest that Wouldn't Die

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:55:40 GMT

This will most likely be my last post regarding ANTIC:FI. It is heroic epic account of the proceedings, the like of which is only matched by Homer's Odyssey and Iliad. There are no iambs or rhymes present because I have a little bit more of a life than that.

Recount, O Muse, of the tragedies that befell upon this, the bygone month of October. For in this time, two such bakers met on a battlefield heretofore unrivaled. And thus, did evil triumph over good, and thus did one baked good count for more than another baked good.

meryl_edan challenged lavenderseaslug to an ominous contest, one full of peril and guile. "Three cookies shall we bake," said she, "And three judges shall we have." The rules agreed upon, the date was set, and there was only the baking left to be done.

Muse, tell us now of the trials and tribulations of the baking. Perhaps the oozing of the chocolate chip cookie dough batter will be too terrible for our dear readers. A companion to lavenderseaslug did take up a knife and parse away the unwanted burnt crisps of the cookies, leaving behind smaller and sillier cookies. And thus was the term "Cookie Fail" born.

The amount of flour used was extraordinary, unrivaled by any cookie seen 'fore or since. Chocolate molasses cookies required not only strength of will but strength of arm. No pastry brush did lavenderseaslug possess, so using a fork did she paint the powdered sugar icing. She was dissatisfied, but no other option was she afforded.

Cookies of spritz were the crowning glory, with cookie stamps used to great effect, both arboreal and faunal. Moose and cardinal and pinecone adorned the buttery cookies. And thus were the delicious cookies made. Much of the dough was eaten by the baker and her friends, but only when it had been made certain there would be enough for all.

The cookies baked and placed in Gladware, and mailed from the depths of the university campus center, lavenderseaslug had only to wait for the results.

And the results did come, and there was shock and awe when they were announced. lavenderseaslug did drop her jaw as she munched a leftover cookie. But the judges were fair, and the results could not be argued.

It was thus that the competition ended. lavenderseaslug nursed a bruised ego and leftover cookies. A competition the likes of ANTIC:FI has ne'er been seen, and will be unlikely to be seen again.

I also received my runner's up prize in the mail yesterday. I think I got the wrong apron, however, because it says "Pwned" on it, and that's not right. If you look at the macro war that went on throughout the contest, meryl_edan was very clearly the one in the position of "the pwned." The cookie cutters, however, I will keep.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:03:43 GMT

I've devised a test. How exciting is that? Composed of 23 12 questions. (By "I," I mean meryl_edan and I have devised this test. And by "devised," I mean meryl_edan and I are watching Stranger Than Fiction and thought this poll would be a good idea.)

View Poll: Let's Start at Ridiculous and Work Backwards

And so it continues...

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 22:54:24 GMT

I don't know if I can ever top icedteainthebag's song, because that was genius. But, without further ado, here is

Part Four of...

Saul Tigh awoke from his drunken stupor to hear the dulcet strains of a catchy tune...

Invigorated by the inspiring lyrics and upbeat melody, Saul found the energy to rise from his rack and head to the CIC, humming the song the whole way there.

Saul took a deep breath - he knew what he had to do. Not only was it important to have resources and the support of the higher-ups in the fleet, he needed the support of the common man.

The Saga of Arcstar Galarctica: Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:40:23 GMT

I got meryl_edan's cookies in the mail today. It is some of the worst stuff I've ever eaten. The box was even marked "Toxic Waste," so the Post Office hates her cookies too.

ANTIC:FI TWS: MS

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:49:46 GMT

So, perhaps you've been feeling left out of America's Next Top Iron Chef: Fangirl Island. Maybe you've been feeling like meryl_edan and I have been taking over your flists with trash-talking (hilarious on my part, slightly pathetic on hers) and nonstop discussion of cookies.

Well here is your chance to get in on the action: ANTIC:FI The Wrestling Spin-Off: Mud Springs. It is a competition for you, the viewers. Wow us with your creativity. Macros, fic, whatever.

So. Get moving. meryl_edan and I have basically been non-stop baking, so this is, like, the least you can do. ♥

The Day of the Cookie

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 19:15:41 GMT

Today is the day of the cookie. I have already finished baking the first kind of cookie - they need to be iced, still, but that is no big deal. I don't know if I'm going to post pictures quite yet - perhaps when all three are finished. Plus I am in the basement of my residence hall in the kitchen and that doesn't quite lend itself to making photo posts.

Anyway, this first kind of cookie requires hand-mixing (like digging my hands in the dough) and extensive stirring, so I have basically gotten today's work out taken care of. And tomorrow's. So.

More importantly, though, is the following, written for coffeesuperhero and leiascully as they work tirelessly for the bsg_pornbattle:

Kate Vernon found herself at one of the party bars after the VMAs. She didn't plan it, it just was that it was a Sunday night and she had nowhere else to be. She did think it was a mistake, being a party bar. She liked parties as much as the next girl (probably a little more), but she didn't much care for the MTV crowd. Just as she was taking her last sip of her whisky sour, about to pay her tab, she felt someone bump into her.

"YO, KATE. I'MA LET YOU FINISH BUT I JUST GOTTA SAY THAT HENNESSY IS THE BEST LATE NIGHT PARTY DRINK OF ALL TIME."

"What? I don't even like cognac." Kate was more than a little apalled, but she was also more than a little tipsy. "Besides - "

"YO, VERNON. I'MA LET YOU FINISH BUT I JUST GOTTA SAY THAT THIS BAR IS THE BEST BAR OF ALL TIME."

Kate realized she probably wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon so she signalled the bartender to get her another. "And make it a doubl-"

"YO, K-V. I'MA LET YOU FINISH BUT I JUST GOTTA SAY THAT STAR TREK IS THE BEST SCI-FI SHOW OF ALL TIME."

Ever gracious, Kate downed her drink, ordered another one, turned to Kanye and said, "Which version of the sh-"

"YO, VERNDOG. I'MA LET YOU FINISH BUT I JUST GOTTA SAY THAT SAUL TIGH IS THE BEST FINAL FIVE OF ALL TIME."

"Well, that just shows I have good taste in men." The bartender had now taken up permanent residence in front of her. Kate saw Kanye's Barbie-doll-girlfriend walking around in the back of the room, shooting jealous glances in her direction. Not wanting to offend someone who might actually be a Cylon, Kate started to say, "Kanye, why don't you go talk to Am-"

"YO, KATESTER. I'MA LET YOU FINISH BUT I JUST GOTTA SAY THAT -"

"YO, KANYE. I'MA LET YOU FINISH BUT I JUST GOTTA SAY THAT STEPHEN COLBERT'S CHRISTMAS ALBUM WAS THE BEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME." Her face was red and she finished her last drink in one gulp, smacked down a few bills on the counter and left.

"Damn, if that lady ever had a music video, I would interrupt Taylor Swift to talk about it," Kanye mused, watching her walk away."

And those are my accomplishments of the day. There will be a more in-depth cookie post at a later date. I am not trying to be a cookie tease.

Oh. Right. Also: meryl_edan's cookies are the worst.

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:50:17 GMT

Wednesday TV

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:01:56 GMT

So. I watched the whole episode. I'll be watching it again in approximately an hour. I don't remember anything that happened after Puck sang "Sweet Caroline" because I replayed it in my head for the remainder of the episode. Except for Sue's zoot suit, because, well, that was fantastic.

I continue to dislike Will more than is probably healthy. But I liked Jayma Mays' singing voice (also, just to set the record straight with...everyone: Frank Sinatra was not the first person to sing "I Could've Danced All Night"). I also didn't mind the Will/Emma as much this episode, but that's probably because Terri was no where to be seen. Which is, incidentally, something that was wrong with this week's episode.

Anyway. I've listened to "Sweet Caroline" on repeat all day. Seriously. Why is Finn getting all the solos?

ANTM: Covergirl commercials are the best! Now with dyslexia and writing their own scripts! Any time people want to mock Sundai is fine with me. Also, another reason I need a watching partner? For the best drinking game ever. Anytime someone says "smize" and anytime it's highlighted that the girls are short. I mean. SHORT. Don't forget it. Also, it was nice to see that Teyona is still alive. I think she's the best CoverGirl shill so far. At least her lines didn't sound forced when she told the girls to be themselves.

Top Chef: It was lies when Tom Colicchio said that it was the best Restaurant Wars in six seasons. I think he conveniently forgot about the team of perfection in Season Four, but whatever. I do not like to mock Tom, because ~~I secretly love him~~ he is the best part of the show.

Also, in non-TV news: I bought a box of this mostly because I am in love with the box, but now I don't even have to add cinnamon to my hot chocolate. Time saver!

Because what icedteainthebag wants, icedteainthebag gets

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:24:59 GMT

Part Three of...

Saul Tigh didn't much care for reading, but he found himself drawn into the world of one-eyed captains and peg-legged assistants. Ignoring much of the plot, Saul found his next course of action: To find his second-in-command.

His second-in-command now in place, Saul Tigh went on a search for necessary supplies. He knew of one group who was always well-stocked.

Supplies obtained, Saul knew his next step would be to find a willing crew...

To be continued...

The Saga of Arcstar Galarctica: Part One | Part Two

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:30:58 GMT

The True and Real Story of Laura Roslin, Cookies, and an Airlock
This totally happened, okay? It's real and true.

Laura Roslin was a busy woman. She had little time to herself, and when she did, she enjoyed what small amount of privacy was afforded to her by the curtain that could be pulled around her bed. She often read books pilfered from Bill Adama's collection or looked through daily reports - she never really could escape from her job.

One afternoon, she returned to her quarters to find a small package sitting on her bed, addressed to "Laura Roslin" in careful, neat handwriting. It must have gotten the okay from Tory, otherwise it wouldn't have ended up here, on her carefully folded pajamas.

She opened it carefully. She wasn't a woman who liked surprises. A cookie tin was carefully nestled in the box with a note that said, "Please enjoy." She planned to.

Carefully choosing one of the beautifully presented cookies, she took a small, hesitant bite. It had been so long since she'd had anything even resembling baked goods, she didn't even care if these were Cylon-made, so long as they used eggs and sugar.

The moment the crumbly cookie hit her tongue, she spit it out.

"TORY!" she bellowed, her aide skittering into the room, tense and ready.

"Who made these abominations? How did they end up here? This will not stand!" Furious beyond belief that she could have been taken in by so innocuous a package, Laura threw the cookies across the room.

"They came from someone named meryl_edan, Madam," Tory said quietly. "She looked like a nice enough girl. I didn't suspect any kind of foul play."

"Well, you can tell meryl_edan that she is forbidden from sending me cookies ever again! These are an insult to the name of pastries. Of cooking. There is only one fitting punishment for such an abhorrence."

---

Ten minutes later, a raptor from Colonial One was docking on the battlestar. "I need to use your airlock, Bill, don't ask questions," Laura said, holding up the package.

"Do I ever?" he asked, his eyes innocent. He followed closely behind her fast-moving heels, and Laura slowed slightly so he might catch up.

"Just know that I am saving the universe from a fate worse than Cylons." Her eyes were serious as they rounded the corner into the airlocking zone.

"Did meryl_edan bake cookies again?"

TV Wrap-Up

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:58:02 GMT

ANTM: I think my problem with this season is I'm not watching it with anyone. It's much more enjoyable if I have to defend my favorite contestants to other people (because I inevitably root for the girl everyone else hates) and get to make my snarky comments to an audience, rather than chuckling at my own jokes like an idiot alone in my room.

Glee I think this might have been my favorite episode so far. I didn't even notice Emma wasn't in this episode until I watched it for a second time and saw her in the "Previously..." I don't know what that says about the character, but she's not an important part of the show for me. So.

What is an important part of the show is Sue Sylvester, and luckily she was fantastic. The fact that she doesn't trust Will because of his curly hair? Excellent. Or, as she would say, "Outstanding." Santana earned my affection for at least the episode by saying, "And that's how Sue sees it" complete with hand gesture. Artie's "Bye white people!" was also a great moment.

I didn't care much for "No Air" mostly because of the over-produced vocals. I would have been fine with the music-video-quality of it were it not for the AutoTuned nature of it all. (Speaking of Autotuning or whatever, how great is the "Top Model" song that plays over the credits on ANTM? Amazing, is the answer.) I did like Quinn's song and I was actually really glad to hear her sing.

In other news, everything gets me teary this week, so moments like Terri and Will in the doctor's office and the entire Glee Club singing to Quinn about how they'll be there for her were enough to make me reach for the Kleenex. But really, Terri's look at Will when he was just so happy about their child? It got to me. Because I love Terri and she realizes how big a hole she's in, and how much she loves Will. Frankly, I think Will is one of the most worthless characters on TV. But, whatever. Sue and Terri make up for him.

30 Rock How glad am I that this show is back? Pretty glad. I won't lie and say I've been counting down the hours or that I watched it live, because I didn't. I wasn't super pumped for the premiere either, because a little of my 30 Rock love may have waned. I can't explain the reason for that, but I do not love it the same way I did during Seasons 1 and 2. Maybe I like my shows under-appreciated, I don't know.

Anyway, it wasn't without its funny moments - Tracy, especially, won the award for most hilarious quotes. Mostly because I could imagine Tracy Jordan saying every single one of those things in real life. I want to meet him just so I can say, "I want to hold hands with a black millionaire!" I also want to use the verb "intercoursing" in my daily life. That is the Liz I know and love.

The Jack/Kenneth feud was meh. Kenneth's hill-people speak was excellent, but that's the most I enjoyed of the interaction. And his "Those glasses are for display only" when Jack poured himself a drink (and was that cough syrup he downed?). Anyway. I am glad to have my Thursday night comedy back.

I mean, I watch The Office too, but without Jan, it just hasn't been the same. And there was no Creed last night, and I feel like he could have had insights about the mob.

Also, I have a new reality TV show to love: The Amazing Race. If I ever decide that my body could handle me taking up running again, it would be for that show. No joke. I would even try to relearn all the various languages I've taken throughout my high school/college career. Anyway, this season, I'm voting for the gay brothers, Meghan and Cheyne (despite their weird names), and Brian and Ericka, just because I will always root for Miss America.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:03:59 GMT

lavenderseaslug also doesn't take two days to formulate a response.

*The AMA in no way endorses this post.

She deserves it

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:51:37 GMT

The Saga of Arctstar Galarctica, Part 2

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 20:22:20 GMT

The cure for a crappy day - a little dose of Arcstar Galarctica.

Previously...Saul was given the mission of building an ark. He was not too enthusiastic about the prospect. We join him again at this stage in his mission...

The Final Five decided to consult about the course of action that should be taken.

After the mostly unsuccessful meeting (although the Final Five did get a good amount of booze consumed), Saul went to the two people he knew he could count on most in a time of crisis...

Finding no help among the fleet, Saul turned to the rebel basestar.

And have faith Saul did. If by faith you mean three bottles of ambrosia. Liquid courage was the only way to begin this hazardous mission. That, and a book that Saul stumbled across that would teach him the ways of the pirate and the ways of the sea.

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:07:30 GMT

I should not be on LJ right now but, this is an e-mail I got from my boss today:

Subject: Outrage!

Dear B,

We didn't have time to talk about Galactica this morning - but how could they have killed off Kara Thrace?

Boss

TV Thoughts and Glee Fight Club

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:05:34 GMT

ANTM

Not sorry to see Ashley go, except her confessionals/sidebars were maybe my favorite, just because she is expressive in the way I am expressive and it's kind of delightful.

If anything, I just want Jennifer to go. Her and her ptosis irritate me. Luckily two of my pre-show picks are still around. Laura and Kara. The two BSG-named girls. I think that's a sign. Of what, I don't know. But of something.

I really enjoy Tyra's continued grammar lesson...noun vs. verb. Somebody did their English homework.

I do want to know the budget of the show. How do they get Cirque de Soleil to perform? Also, incidentally, Jay with a cane is my favorite incarnation of Jay yet.

Glee
Um. So. Much. Funny. Every single episode should start with a journal entry from Sue. There should be whole episodes devoted to her journal. Fox should publish her journal because I would buy it. And then maybe Sue could get her hovercraft.

Maybe the majority of people hate Teri, but I love her. Who else would say, "There were a lot of ants on the sidewalk today." And her conversation with Emma was maybe one of the best conversations of the episode because it had both humor and seriousness. "Sure he's dumb like sand and his fondue-pot of nationalities will open up your kids to a host of diseases..." and the fact that she called up Howard Bamboo to get the cold medicine for her. And asking Quinn if she was having the baby right there in the hallway. Win.

So I don't understand how the baby exchange will work, but I don't care. Keep the crazy pouring in. Also, I loved Teri's evasion of Quinn's extortion.

I seriously don't like Will/Emma. I think it's because I just can't 'ship adultery. (Except Sam/Dee, but that's Dragon*Con related and so barely counts). Also, Emma's acceptance of Ken's proposal just made me think that Ken's the only slightly decent person on the show, even with his psoriasis and one descended testicle.

ETA: Just because it's necessary - Sue's journal entry:
Dear Journal,

Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster... insert Quinn's quivering knee

It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver! That quiver will lose us Nationals. And without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements. And without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft...

GLEE CLUB. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth breathers, it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything, only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy, misshapen teens.

Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course it's not me. It's WILL SCHUESTER. What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday... insert moment with Will and Emma

Of course, it's coming clear to me now. If I can't destroy the club, I'll have to destroy THE MAN!!

The most important part of the episode, though, was Mr. Schue's idea of some of the biggest match-ups in history. So. Who would win?

View Poll: Glee Fight Club

And so it begins...

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:16:06 GMT

icedteainthebag, this is for you.

While investigating Earth, Saul felt a call to look at the shoreline. Staring out across the ocean with his one good eye, he heard a booming voice from the sky.

As you can imagine, he was less than amused.

Once safely back on Galactica, in the safety of the bar, Saul Tigh decided to play a little dance music and relay the message to his compatriots.

To be continued at some point. Expect 100% more piratey-ness.

In other news, my boss bought me a "So Say We All" t-shirt. Now back to studying.

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 00:09:51 GMT

Because I am doing anything I can think of to avoid writing this impossible paper, I am pimping this because I think it's a really nice idea.

In other news, I am now writing a weekly TV column for the school paper. First column's topic? Tyra Banks. What can I say, she's my muse.

ETA: I was called a cougar three times today, and also compared to Laura Roslin in "Daybreak, Part 2" - my life, it is pure class.

My Friday Night Activities

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 04:57:10 GMT

Marry, boff, kill:

Eliza Doolittle, Mary Poppins, Maria von Trapp.

I'm just saying. This is what we do. On a Friday night.

Also, I was given: "Mary McDonnell, Katee Sackhoff, William Shatner."

I had to kill Shatner. It had to be done.

And now we're going out to the bars. So discuss amongst yourselves.

TV Thoughts

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:46:37 GMT

Tyra should be the photographer every week, if only so I can see her Gollum impression that often. I think the best thing ever was that they told Brittany she looked beautiful when they couldn't even see her face. What compliments they pay these girls. Also, "Bianca's the verb, I'm not sure if she's the noun." Tyra's been doing some book-learning, y'all! Also, Laura will not win ANTM because she doesn't know the lingo. It's not, "This is something that has never happened in all of America's Next Top Model." It's, "This is the first time we've done this. In. The. History. Of. America's. Next. Top. Model." Thank you.

If the Olympics end up in Chicago, I think it means we all need to bow down to Oprah forever, because that means she basically picked where the Olympics will be held. They'll probably just permanently move to Chicago and be called the Oprahlympics. It could happen.

The Chenoweth was excellent, and reminded me how much I really miss Pushing Daisies. "Somebody to Love" was probably one of the greatest songs the show has done. It's close to "Don't Stop Believing" - but it's hard to top Journey.

Sue was missed, but fabulous in her one scene. "When I heard about Sandy writing himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused and then furious." Also, she was just going around taking down Glee Club signs. Perfect.

Also perfect was Kurt's drunkeness. And Teri's pie eating. Boy, did I want that pie.

This was kind of what I wanted/expected from this show - more real-style musical numbers. I have a problem with the music video numbers because they aren't actually singing - I love when songs in musicals are actually because the characters are singing. Those are always my favorites.

I think I kind of hate Will, though. Probably because of my love for Teri's crazy. And I have a little dislike for Finn now. I want to know more about Archie. And I want more Puck all the time. I still like Rachel, even if she's a big ol' diva. And Sue is still the best

Also, on a semi-related TV note, a few months ago, I was doing X-Files Funfests as I worked my way through the show. I took a summer hiatus and just a few weeks ago remembered that I never finished watching the X-Files DVDs that I have. So, I feel like there are more X-Files fans on the flist now - I could continue with the Funfests if people wanted, because I would love to hear what you all think about the episodes, and then it simultaneously stops me from getting freaked out by whatever is taking place on my computer screen.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 23:47:27 GMT

Being the intrepid geologist that I am, I found fossils today. At a quarry. Where one of the hazards that one is warned about is the danger of men falling out of their trucks. So wear a hardhat!